I lay in bed, the room dark and the blankets wrapped close.
I pondered. I analyzed. And I knew that I needed God’s wisdom.
I’ve seen it so clearly in his young life lately.
The battle for good and evil in the heart of my little guy. The clear blue eyes growing troubled.
The heart, so free and alive, getting weighed down by attitudes and bad choices.
And I want to help him navigate this road of life
without burdening him with too much information.
Ideally childhood should be carefree.
I want Weston to splash in the waves, build sand castles,
climb trees and laugh in the wind.
I want his heart to be wild and free, lost in the beauty God it created for.
But this world is real. And the consequences for bad choices are unrelenting.
And we need to prepare our kids for this thing called real life.
I tossed and turned, and my heart cried out for wisdom.
And then there it was, the word spoken so quietly.
I was completely blown away,
cause the depth of truth God whispered wasn’t just for my son.
It was for me, too. And I had to marvel in the wisdom.
The next day, when he was awake,
I squatted in front of him and looked deep into those two windows of heaven, and said,
“Buddy, last night I was praying.
I wanted to help you know how to face life and the hard times.
But I didn’t know how. And then God showed me what I needed to tell you.
Weston, I am proud of you.
No matter what you do, if you make good choices or bad ones.
You are my son, and I will always be proud of you.
You will always be learning.
Guess what? I am learning things all the time.
God has to show me how to respond to situations.
And it is okay not to know everything.
We just need to have a heart willing to learn.
Of course I am happy when you make wise choices
and when your heart is happy and free.
But no matter what, I will always be proud of you.”
His eyes sparkled and glittered.
He got that syrupy sweet smile that melts my heart each time.
And we hugged tight. That kind of tight that holds on forever.
Life’s problems aren’t answered. And he didn’t grow up overnight.
But I see him looking at me with a new understanding, with a deeper appreciation.
He knows that I am in his shoes too, and God loves me no matter what.
Funny how the mother and son learn the same thing at the same time, 25 years apart.
It creates this camaraderie, a safety in honesty,
an acceptance of knowing we don’t have it all under our belt,
but we can learn; together.
So here is cheers to you today.
To be honest with yourself, or your children, about this classroom.
To accept your need to learn. To rest in God’s perfection in this journey.
And to love your Father, who is such a gentle and tender teacher.