He’s got a friend in me

I was awake before his alarm went off.
That’s what happens when you sleep with a nursing baby; one that refuses to let blankets cover her legs.
Just when you think she has finally drifted off into deep sleep and you gingerly drape the white quilt over her little legs, up they go again and kick the blanket down.
Nothin’ doing.

Light streams in the window.
The window that STILL needs me to order light blocking curtains so my tired man can sleep after pulling 14 hour shifts.
I lay there, pretending to be very tired and that sleeping in would be worth the repercussions.
But there it goes, that predictable alarm and he rolls over and picks up the phone.
I roll the other way, baby zonked between us, and head down stairs.
There’s gotta be a way to make a water pot and pour over coffee do itself.
Even deliver itself to you, right to the night stand.
But then, I guess I wouldn’t wake fully as I stumble down the stairs.

I fill the water kettle and start the grinder.
Put the filter in and look at the drain rack bulging with clean, dry dishes.
These days I’m making myself do a few chores while I wait on the water to heat, before I’m really awake. The dishes get put away, the broom comes out.
Bed head and all, I’m getting the day rolling.
No words, though.

The water is hot and I pour it over the grounds. Pull out the travel mug and get it ready. He comes down, fresh from the shower and looks amazing in his uniform. Eleven years later, I still am crushing over this guy. He’s earned each one of those white hairs, and those arms have held each one of our babies. He has proven to me again and again, that no matter how much I fail, he will always love me, and will always be there.

We have changed and grown in these last eleven years.
Life has thrown some hard punches.
God has walked with us through some deep valleys.
But He has given us the gift of each other.
And while change and new seasons take extra grace and focused attitudes, we get to do it together. The joy of walking hand in hand through the highs and lows of life is a taste of something much bigger than what this world has to offer.
Being married to my best friend, who will never leave, is breath taking.


He kisses me there, my hand on the broom, dirt pile at my toes.
“Have a good day,” he whispers.
“You too…”

A few minutes later, I sit on the couch alone and cradle my coffee cup and listen to the clock tick. In two months we can drink our morning coffee together again.
But for now, we are good.
We are taking this season in stride, knowing it is just a season.
He is being stretched, I am being stretched.
But God’s got us, and our relationship can handle the stresses because God is here.


“You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead
And you’re miles and miles
From your nice warm bed
You just remember what your old pal said
Boy, you’ve got a friend in me

Yeah, you’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me

You’ve got troubles, and I’ve got ’em too
There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you
We stick together and can see it through
‘Cause you’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me

Some other folks might be
A little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too, maybe
But none of them will ever love you
The way I do, it’s me and you, boy

And as the years go by
Our friendship will never die
You’re gonna see it’s our destiny
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me.”

(Songwriters: Randy Newman
You’ve Got a Friend in Me lyrics © Walt Disney Music Company)

I find these words, and smile.
Tear up a bit, actually.
‘Cause my man does have a friend in me, even when we face different challenges and stresses in our days. He grapples with an extra hard vein and IV while I ponder how to mother in a way that invites freedom and security in my children.
He blows a vein and I lose my temper.
Then we both get up and try again.

I select the lyrics, copy and paste them into a text and hit “send.”
I smile.

11 Comments Add yours

  1. Lynette says:

    This is beautiful, Melissa. I admire you and Daniel’s relationship and pursuit of dreams.

  2. Bethany says:

    Love this! This is the true meaning of a beautiful marriage. I am a part of one myself and I am so thankful. ❤

  3. Rachel says:

    I love this post, and that song. Also you guys.

  4. Katie Byler says:

    So beautiful.. it brought me to tears! ❤️️

  5. Rosie says:

    You’re so brave (even when you’re not feeling it.) I admire you both.

  6. Ruth says:

    This is beautiful and I’m inspired. I love your vibrant, down to earth way of living and writing. Hugs, resilient friend!

  7. deepeight says:

    Yes. You are a good team. Bless you today!

  8. Angie Riehl says:

    “…no matter how much I fail, he will always love me, and will always be there.” So beautiful and such a picture of Jesus’s love for us.

  9. Yalonda says:

    Thank you for this .. I needed that reminder !

  10. Ann L. says:

    I could have written this myself… He is neck deep in finals, stressing, he has “drill duty” and is gone all this weekend. I’m full swing in the middle of figuring out what starting my own biz looks like, along with being mommy. But we are ok. Because we have come through hard seasons before and will again. 3 more weeks and we have the delight of Christmas break to relish before the next semester starts. 💜 Blessings to you!

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