I stroked his hair as I woke him up this morning, my little boy turned young man. “Isaac went to heaven 13 years ago today,” and all the sudden tears I didn’t know were there stung my eyes. Weston’s sleepy eyes focused on my face and he pulled his face closer to me, offering comfort…
Still There, Always There
We woke up next to the sea five days in a row, sometimes before the sun came up and other times with the light curling through the blinds and splashing onto the bed. It was always there, roaring, pounding crashing in the background. Sometimes I closed my eyes and just let the music sing to…
Dear 2020
Dear 2020, You were the year none of us really expected. At first you were sneaky, subtle, and cheeky. But you blew your cover, and your true colors couldn’t be hidden, even behind your mask and confined by plastic partitions. You may think you won, but I have a little story to tell. 2020, you…
Courage, dear heart
I pull him close, and we hold a long duel, he and I, and eventually mama wins. Teething has been brutal and he fights his nap with a vengeance. But now I tuck his sleeping form into my bed, his small fat hands relaxed, open by his chin. As I quietly stand up, something catches…
What if…
I made supper. I changed diapers. No one knew inside I was crying. Something had happened that stabbed deep. It was unintentional and I knew right away it was an oversight. Sometimes life deals you the short straw. It’s just how it goes. I breathed deep, at first pretending it didn’t hurt. I avoided my…
The Torn Cardboard Sign
I pulled my car onto the exit ramp and slowed behind the glowing brake lights ahead. My mind clicked through the list of places I need to hit, streamlining each stop as much as possible. Gone are the days of sauntering through shopping trips, now I execute them with precision, holding my breath that the…
More than Meets the Eye
There is so much more than meets the eye. Five children stood holding hands, illuminated by the morning light filtering through the redwood forest. The green canopy stretched high overhead, heavy and hushed, as if the tall trees were waiting to whisper something to us… But the real story behind this moment was we couldn’t…
These Beautiful Scars
The morning haze lay thick, shrouding the world in a sleepy mantle. I pulled the thick blanket tighter over my shoulders and around the baby in my lap. Wind whipped up over the rocks and snuck its way under the fleece around me. Slowly, slowly the sky warmed and glowed, empty blue giving way to…
Flowing In Our Veins
Miles slid under the van and disappeared, and with each hour the scenery became more rugged. Wide clear sky stretched even wider, and the oaks and pines gave way to scrub brush and gnarled mesquite trees. I will always love the lush beautiful east, but the Texan in my veins will never die. We slammed…
Every Bitter Thing is Sweet
My little guy slipped out of our front row seat and made a bee line for the bucket of roses at the front of the stage. He bent carefully over the blend of red, pink and yellow and finally pulled up a pink one with dark ruffled edges. He retraced his steps and handed me…
Melissa Troyer 